11.26.2004

Black Friday rules:

If you are below average on the IQ scale and a horrible driver and haven’t left your house for a fucking year you shut in bastard and now you want to buy a five year old the most incredibly violent and antisocial video game ever made because normally it is $50 dollars but today from 6 am until noon it’s only $19 dollars and you certainly can’t be bothered to clean yourself regularly and your chief concern is how violent the video game is because some of them aren’t violent enough and junior sure do like WRASTLIN’ games then you should definitely shop at the Electronic Boutique near me yet me give you directions you PIGASS MOTHERFUCKER.

If you happen to work at EB and run into the above customer please revel in the violence and gore of your favorite video game. Please be sure to tell the FUCKER FAMILY exactly how realistically their little psycho is going to be able to garrote people ( I know that is a big word for you, it IS the one that you were trying to think of). Also please be as graphic as you can in your descriptions. My three year old daughter knows all about garroting convicts and is certainly not bothered as you spend countess minutes regaling your clientele with stories about how much fun it is to cut someone’s head off in game x. Again could you please make sure that my daughter is within earshot. I’m trying to teach her to be more antisocial and aggressive and here to fore I haven’t had much luck. Perhaps your available to baby-sit? I was especially amused when the DUNG FUCKERS that wanted to buy their 4 year old the most violent game possible were chatting with you. I Like the part were you shamelessly whored yourself and confided that you didn’t censor what you sons watched or played. I’m sure they will enjoy the ball gags and PVC underwear that I’ll be sending you for Christmas.

Cheers